So here we are all set up in a new apartment and a new chapter of my life. Along with the inevitable life questions— why am I here, where shall I go, and who am I—there accompanies them another series of conundrums which clutter and distract the mind: will I make enough to pay for rent, how shall I adjust to working instead of studying, will I enjoy living here, and why are the people who live above me performing their own rendition of Stomp every night?
Living here (not in a study and not in a dorm room) I suddenly became privileged to experience one of my most favorite hobbies: decorating my room. Yet like every decision lately in my life, it met me with the most frustrating indecisiveness. When I work to create something beautiful, the finished result must “sing” to me. I cannot begin to describe it, or even how the finished product reaches this divine look of perfection—it is something instinctual, something you just know. And as I was shopping for new comforters or wandering aimlessly down the aisle of Hobby Lobby in search of inspiration, I was met with dismal failure. I couldn’t decide how to decorate my room. I couldn’t even decide which colors I liked! For me, indecision is tantamount to failure. I was dead in the water until I could make one, silly decision!
Sometimes life is like that. I am entering a new world of my life. I feel dead in the water. I can’t go forward until I decide where I am going. After exhausting years of school, the only thing on my mind currently is resting from it all. Of course, eventually I need to figure everything out and take that scary unknown step forward. That is where faith comes in. I forget sometimes that I serve an all-knowing God! He knows me as I took my first steps, he knows me as I am today, and he knows me ten years from now. He knows what is best and how to work together the decisions I make today into the best outcome for tomorrow. If I keep him close and follow his ways, why wouldn’t he want to lead his child into a bright and productive future? It’s just the not knowing that is scary. It is the letting go of the life jacket in the midst of a storm and trusting God to save you that is the hardest to do. But I think he definitely is worth believing in. It just may take a little time to see where God takes you.
With a little patience, thought, and perhaps a smidgen of pixie dust I eventually decided upon a theme for my room: Fairytale romance. And waiting for this room was definitely worth the frustrating indecision that I battled. For within wispy shimmers of twinkle lights, deep greens, earthy browns and accents which allude to love stories of or, my new haven is the perfect escape for a quiet, romantic mind longing to revisit the shores of far off lands and magical places.
