But some mornings are just sad. Not sad because anything really egregious and awful has just struck. There is no calamity to bewail or bloody appendages to grieve…just simply sadness. If your heart had feet it would be dragging them. If your heart could sigh, oh goodness it would sigh. If your heart could look longingly off into the middle distance…it would be one of those days when it would.
I suppose even the happiest of people have their down mornings. Emotions are as unpredictable as the weather. And no matter how cheery you are and no matter how determinedly you fight to be happy for others, inside a quiet, sequestered nook of your heart there lies some rain clouds. Grey, pitiful, sad, Eeyore rain clouds. Some people hide it well. I sadly do not have their talent! It’s mornings like these it takes all my energy to remember what I had believed before: that God is working everything out for you, that you must have faith in him, that good things can happen to those who wait and trust in him.
Like a little child I get fussy; “I want it now!” “I am tired of this.” “I don’t wanna!” I get tired of waiting endlessly for things that I fear will never happen (like my dreams of the future) I get tired of working a job I don’t like and not being able to have fun. I get tired of always having to be in a good mood. Some days I want to be grouchy and mean. I want to toss a shoe across the room, stubbornly cross my arms and say, “No! It’s not all going to work out. No! I am not happy! No! There isn’t a “happily ever after” waiting for me or anyone!”
Well goodness, with thoughts like that running through a head no wonder the storm clouds start to accumulate! It’s never my intention to abuse this blog as a billboard for all my personal issues. I write because I love so dearly other girls who write about the struggles in their lives. It gives me hope realizing that I am not alone in the way I am feeling! And if any blessing might arise from my feeling sad on these random mornings, I would hope that it would comfort other people who are sad and help them realize that though not all days are happy, all days ARE held within the hands of God. No matter how you FEEL he is just as much at work in your life as he was on those days where you believed it with all your heart!
So today I am sad. Today I feel too tired to be happy. But I know there must be days like this…Eeyore days where I just plum feel sorry for myself. But I shall not fret too much, tomorrow is another day and as we all know rainy days never last forever!
<3
“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.
