I wish that I could speak in oracles. I have often thought I might at least try my hand at that activity. My mother said one random day of her young life that she would marry a man named Mark. Years later, she did! Strange, no? Since the moment of my becoming aware that I would most likely marry one day, an eligible young man— I have always declared that he will either have dark hair, a name with four letters, or a name that starts with a “J.” I would like to say I am deeply convicted within my heart that I had a gut feeling about my future amour, but then something weird shall happen like I would marry a blond man named Bartholomeus.
I also have always had peculiar fascinations with men who have one pupil/eye that is a little off center. I don’t know why I like this either. It seems to me a natural, unique kind of beauty. But I have been fascinated by it so much, that I wrote a story with the hero looking to be just like that.
I have also always imagined marrying a man who is blind or could not hear. I don’t really know what to make of this imagining, but it always seems such proper sense to me that if I found a man like that I might find such joy spending my life trying to find ways to help him find greater pleasure in God's beautiful world.
It has dawned on me rather lately, that I am quite a ridiculous girl. What sort of person wishes to marry a man with off center eyes or one who could never hear my lovely shrieking voice? But then, I am not a normal sort of girl in any sense.
Some days, I believe that I am subconsciously writing this blog for him. All the little snippets of my soul which I pour into poetry or posts—all the lessons I have learned, all the encouraging joy I receive from God, all the dreams I write about, all the fantastic worlds I visit—I secretly feel that I write them for him to read. Someday. And maybe, if I write enough, if I give the heart of my talent into my writing, somehow, perhaps magically, he will find his way to me, to my blog, to my world. I send off each post like a message in a bottle, praying that God will guide him to me soon. I don't know what he looks like, I don't know when I will find him. I don't even know if he will be anything like I imagine or guess to be. But I do hope, that wherever he is tonight in this great, wide world, he knows how dearly I love him already.
“Wherever you are, I am thinking of you. Wondering, are you thinking of me too?
There is only so long that time can keep us apart.
So until we meet, keep me deep in your heart,
Keep wishing upon that same old star
And know that I love you…wherever you are.”
~”Wherever You Are”; Mark Chestnut
