I am compelled to write again this morning, feeling my spirits significantly stirred out from the dark mess of the previous night, I would like to return to my original desire of spreading joy, not gloom.
You can always find reasons to be joyful. But you must not be too severe upon yourself if you have a day where you just can't find the sun behind the clouds. We will all have days like that.
Yesterday was quite horrible. But I lived! I filed my taxes all by myself for the first time in my life! And I didn't get arrested by the IRS for doing it wrong. I made it through Black Tuesday at work (aka Chicken Nugget/Mashed Potatoes and Gravy day.) Do you know the strength it takes to serve 1422 students who all, simultaneously want the same thing? My workers and I were like the people of Rohan in Lord of the Rings, fighting against ten thousands of Orcs in the battle of Helm's Deep. But Black Tuesday is over! We all survived! We have met the enemy and were victorious!
You know, I believe there is something incredibly freeing when you realize that you don't have to figure everything out. You don't have to understand why God is working the way he is in your life. You don't have to understand what it all means. You don't have to manage every detail of your life!When something happens that makes us hurt or uncomfortable we automatically try to fix it, figure it out...but if God doesn't give us understanding, he is telling us that we must trust in him. 
We must have obedient faith in his plan for us. And above all we must remember the quiet, the simple, and the beautiful in life. When we give our love to others, we when are pure in heart, when we appreciate the little, natural blessings around us, that is when God brings us joy. 
There is lots of stuff going on in my life right now that I don't understand. I have wasted nearly half of a year trying to figure it all out. Lately, I've been blind to the blessings in my life because I am focusing so greatly on what I don't know. But remember, God takes care of all the little birds. He provides for them. Won't he too provide for me? It is quite obvious that God doesn't want me to figure it all out right now! He wants me to simply trust. Shouldn't I start practicing what I preach? For those of us who are Christians, shouldn't we have joy? We call God our Father? Don't we trust him?
Today I am strengthened. Today I have hope. Today my heart isn't nearly as broken as it tragically was last night. It was all silly emotion. But today I have found my joy again...all from the hand of God who continually saves!
