What do you imagine for your future life? What kind of goals do you have? What steps are you taking to get to them? Are you pursuing them aggressively, fearlessly, boldly? Are you always keeping God in the planning room and asking him constantly to evaluate your battle strategy? I have never really had a complicated life plan. Perhaps I am too old fashioned, but I have always longed for a quiet, simple life, getting married, having children, burning dinner, planting flowers, writing in the mornings with a cup of coffee … I don’t have to have lots of money, I don’t want a high profile career, I don’t want great fame—I just want to live in peace, doing things that make God happy, and encouraging my family along the way. So of course, all my goals are heavily focused on the single catalyst to get this whole life dream started: A man. 
Once upon a time, when I was probably 20 or 21, I went head over heels for a boy I just knew I would soon fall in love with, marry, and live happily ever after. Every shining star in the heavens might sing out triumphantly and it still wouldn’t compare with the joy I felt thinking I had found Prince Charming. I prayed to God that he would be The One—oh can words even describe how profoundly this hope engulfed my constant thoughts. I couldn’t imagine a different ending to this story. Oh but what an ending it was. Aside from probably my father, I don’t think another circumstance has hurt me deeper, or left deeper scars upon my heart than what happened between me and this boy. It was a tragedy.I would cry to God: “Father, you know this is my dream! Why wasn’t he right? Why did I even meet him in the first place if he wasn’t right?”
I failed to see there was any alternative path than "Marriage" or "Spinsterhood." I didn't realize there was another road: "Growing Up" which I had to trek down first. In retrospect, had I been more mature and aware of the ways of the world and men, I would never have dive so deeply in hopeful love for this boy. I am now completely past the pain today and can look upon this boy with pity and sadness as I realize just how hurt and confused he was about his own troubled past.
So what’s the point of all this? I believe sometimes we are so focused on our goals that we fail to see any other options. Sometimes God doesn’t give us our dreams because he realizes that we wouldn’t know how to handle them correctly. At 21, I wasn’t ready to be married. I had to go away to Freed, I had to experience life, I had to meet and fall in love with other boys, I had to go to Scotland, I had to educate my mind, pay my own bills, learn who I was, learn what I need in a man, read lots of books—I had to grow up. I’ve learned patience when it seems time is running out, I’ve learned endurance when I can barely walk, I’ve learn how to love the unlovable, I’ve learned the power of prayer, I’ve learned humility, I’ve learned how to lower my sky-high standards, I’ve learned how to have faith when all seems impossible, I’ve had moments of such great, profound, heart surging joy when there was absolutely no hope of a man in my life— what kind of marriage would I have had if God hadn’t taken the time to teach me all those things?
Lately, I’ve been feeling the pressure of my dreams again. Frantic thoughts scream through my brain: “But I HAVE to get MARRIED soon! I am going back to Michigan soon where there are NO Christian men! I am 25! I am a 1/4th of the way through my life! I am running out of time!!!”
Calm down…calm down...
How we tie the hands of God and believe in the lies of Satan.
When I was younger all I could think about was getting my dream. But God knew I had lots of refining left. My mind and heart needed time to grow. When we pray for the fruits of the spirit, God doesn’t give them to us as pretty gifts. He gives us circumstances in which we will be trained, conditioned, and toughened to receive the peace of his gifts. I would NOT have been ready to be married at 21. Some days I don’t think I am even ready today at 25. But God, in his infinite and superior wisdom, realizes this. Sometimes he tells us simply to wait. He isn’t done getting us ready. The longer we wait on our dreams the longer we spend getting close to God and nurturing our relationship with him. We as Christians need to not be so focused on our futures that we fail to devote our love and attention to God right now. We were never promised tomorrow. If I died tonight at work (which is always a possibility) would I be proud of the way I worried and fretted and drowned in the busyness of planning for a future which never came to me? Of course not!
Devote your life to God. Don’t be blinded by trying so hard to get your dreams. Imagine confidently the end goal is already waiting for you. Always pray and ask God if your dreams are in line with his perfect will. Trust faithfully in the timing of his plans. As Christians we can have such tremendous joy—our Father is taking care of everything! He knows just when the time is right and when it isn’t. We must be patient, joyful, and always confident. Dreams are beautiful to have, but remember; never let them become so great that they obscure the path before you. If you are meant to have them, your loving Father will give them to you when you are ready!
"Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13
"In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the LORD establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9
but the LORD establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones." Proverbs 3:5-8
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones." Proverbs 3:5-8
