Why is it so hard to give up control?
All the pretty things that turn us away from God.
Why do we do what is wrong?
Why do we drink the poison we know will hurt us?
Why is it so hard to accept the peace and joy and faith offered by God?
Some people have a hard time finding spirit and motivation and courage.
Some people have a hard time giving up what tempts their fleshly delights.
Some people have a hard time believe in the positives of this life.
Some people have a hard time surrendering control to God.
I am of the latter two. I have lived 25 years trying to fix my own problems; 25 years analyzing the dilemmas, calculating the costs, and trying to determine the best way to discover the solution. Sometimes I push harder than I ought, I worry more freely over the exact perfect path to the answer, I fail to believe in the greater picture, the faith that moves us forward, and the realization that sometimes God isn’t teaching us a beautiful, perfectly plotted lesson… sometimes life is just life. Ups and downs, tears and laughter, hopes disappointed, and new joys discovered. Sometimes people make their own choices which God has nothing to do with. Plagued you are with frustration—but what did this episode mean?! What was the point? There was no happily ever after, there was no useful moral, there was nothing but the unexplained.
And for a control freak like me, this is the hardest thing in the world. Giving up control, giving up the keys of destiny, becoming submissive, not only to my all powerful God, but also to the choices of other people. Other people who you give your heart too, other people who you take a chance upon. Friends who you hope in, family, boys, girls, men, women, people! It is one thing to give your destiny over to God. But it is another when you must relinquish control and give it to another person…allowing them to make their own mistakes, learn their own lessons, and make their own choices (which may hurt you in the process)—now that is nearly impossible. Especially when you feel you can fix it!
Because people will always be free to make their own choices. And sometimes they give up and walk away…even when you were dying for them to try once more. I still haven’t reconciled myself to the acceptance of such a thing. I suppose that is why I try so hard to control things. My own particular happiness can be appeased with such little effort, but it always seems what is most easiest that you imagine a person can give, in their mind is the absolute hardest.
And this is where we must put our faith in God. Believing that even though sad things may happen in our lives, He will never leave us nor forsake us. Yes, sometimes people make the wrong choices, but if we have God, he will be there to get us through the hurt. We just must learn to trust in him, to give him the control, and to be at peace with what happens. We must stop trying to fix it ourselves and hand the tools back to our Father.
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