Quietness tries to rest herself within my soul tonight. But sometimes quietness only brings to mind all the great thoughts which one often tries to hid from. I am, indeed, content. With only the love of God to boast in as the savoir of my sanity, I can say in all truth that I find peace more often than ever before in my life.
But today, two phone calls derailed the peaceful balance of my mind and threw into disorder all my thoughts. I feel quite overwhelmed at times, thinking of him. Feeling as though, my entire life, has been a half life. A great frustration trying to sort out a mess that was doomed to never be solved...I am torn between wishing he’d go away forever and feeling such pain over his lost state. A wicked tempter still whispers in my ear that it is all my fault. It is all my fault that he changed the way he did. That it is my fault because I didn’t love enough; it is my fault because I cannot bare any part of him now.
God in heaven is my Father. And He is all I need...
